I can’t believe my son Christian is 7 months old already. It seems like yesterday when I found out I was pregnant with him. At this time last year, I was a few months along while on my annual vacation.
I really had no idea of what to expect as a mother of two. Especially being a working mom. I wasn’t able to take a proper maternity leave, and I’ve been trying to manage work and motherhood to my best capabilities.
After seven months, here’s what I’ve learned as a mother of two:
Being a parent isn’t easy
Being a parent is the most difficult job in the world. You are responsible for another person’s life, and every move you make affects your kid. You need to be selfless and committed to giving the best life to your children. The stress of all your responsibilities can be overwhelming. But it’s important to remember these feelings of stress are all normal, and all parents go through them.
You can’t be perfect with two
Your second child may not get as much care and attention as your first child did because you’re still one person juggling twice as many children. It’s taken me a long time to get over the mother’s guilt. But I know there’s no such thing as a perfect mother, and that’s something I need to accept and be OK with.
Two is so special
I love watching the bond my two kids are forming now. Christian is understanding things better, and he’s so in love with his sister Collette. Collette used to hate Christian. She was extremely jealous when he was born. I will never forget her face when she saw him in the hospital. I just wanted to cry because I felt so badly for her. (Also because I was super hormonal which made me ready to cry about any little thing.) But now Collette knows her role as the older sister, and she’s doing such a good job of being the protector.
Patience is the key to it all
You know that feeling when one of your kids cries in the middle of the night, and then another starts crying right after? I’ve had to learn how to be patient and not freak out. At times it feels like a symphony orchestra in my house in the wee hours. They both won’t stop crying, and one looks angry if I’m paying attention to the other. It’s easy to lose your mind in the chaos. But the best advice I can give is to be patient.
Proper time management is essential
It’s important when you have two kids to organize the chaos. I have schedules for Cnd Collette. I wasn’t this organized the first time I had a baby. But the second time around, I’m a lot more organized with my time and activities from nap times to activities to school. Every hour of my day is organized.
Comparing yourself to others is pointless
No matter what you do as a parent, don’t compare yourself to other parents. Most of the time, I feel like the worst mother in the world when I hear some of the things other parents do with their kids. I went to a birthday party recently where another couple told my husband and I that their kids eat sweets only every two weeks. My heart stopped right then and there. Shit, was I not supposed to give Collette that cake pop five minutes ago? I felt like the most terrible parent in the world. Everything can make you question your capabilities as a parent. But I’m here to tell you you’re doing a good job and this whole motherhood thing is so hard.
So congrats to all the parents out there who hustle to give their kids their best lives possible month after month. It’s not easy, but it’s the most rewarding job anyone can ever have.